A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds."

When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds. "Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?"

The blonde nodded, "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that 3rd day."

"From hunger, you mean?", asked the doctor."

"No, from all that skipping.

Not everyone is blonde but we're all a little dumb when it comes to dieting. It's hard to know what to believe, really. As someone who topped the scale at almost 300 pounds, I can honestly say I think I found the secret. Why the blonde diet? Because it is so simple, even a blonde can follow. Below are links that back up what I say...so feel free to research if you want to put your thinking cap on...but if you don't, and who can blame you...no brain, no pain is my motto. And here are your no brainer rules for a beautiful body.

1. Tan!

Skin cancer is bad, but melatonin and vitamin D are good...plus, a tan makes you look better no matter how much you weigh. Soak up a few rays every day...go without your sun glasses for an hour or two...the sun will stimulate HGH (human growth hormone) and that's something people spend alot of money on to maintain their youthful physique. In the winter, use full-spectrum lighting in your home and office and you'll be burning calories like it's summer. Light is the medicine of the future.


2. Nourish the skin with Vitamin E! Betcha never thought you'd be eating through your skin...but your skin is a major part of your digestive system.

3. If it tastes good, it's probably bad.

Sugar, salt, fat...it's actually worse than you think. Carbohydrates, short chain sugars, simple starches...aka Cake, candy & soda are killing you. They are just as bad as smoking...worse than drugs actually...one of the hardest things to kick. Let's face it...there's a store on every corner. Junk food is too ligh a term...they outta call it Crack food.

The sad truth is you can never have a beautiful body on a steady diet of pizza, chips, ice cream and pretzel m&m's unless you are a freak of nature (and even if the metabolically-gifted can dodge the fat ass, it's not likely they'll avoid the diabetes, heart disease or cancer looming in their future.